the way it isn't

this song is one of my favourites, envisaging a young man who is a terrorist in northern ireland, i wrote this song about not knowing the answers for the problems we have had in our wee country. there is a sense of reality to this tune, a real life reflection on terrorism. the main subject is how newspapers report us as being always wrong and they tell it "the way it isn't", hence the song's title, changed from the original of "standing on my own"

written - 2001

about - northern ireland

lyrics -

in my homeland forlorn
the sun shines down upon
a tattooed youth
his mind a microwave
of loss and feeling brave
in disrepute

my eyes bore into him
beneath a sky undimmed
by fear and callousness

i've worked out why my feet are cold
is that why i'm not getting old
the winter air won't let me know
the summer breeze won't let me go
and i'm a faded mural

in bloodshot countryside
rain does it's best to hide
un-needed graves
despite an empty hand
a balacalavad man is suspicious
another ambulance can't take much more of this
pray it's a fire

i never got my fortune told
what that means i'll never know
the winter breeze won't let me know
the summer air won't let me go
and i'm a faded mural

another paper tells
it the way it isn't
we're front page news
and when we live in peace
i'll keep my memories
the nights of fear

i've worked out why my feet are cold
is that why i'm not getting old
the winter air won't let me know
the summer breeze won't let me go
and i'm a faded mural

in my home town forlorn
the sun shines down upon
a tattooed youth

Acoustic Settee Version, Southbourne, 2009

charing cross

written - 25/09/2006

about - london trains, in particular my daily journeys to and from the mythical station of "charing cross", is this the red herring for "strand", "embankment" or "trafi's q"

lyrics -

no-one wants to talk to me
i feel so statue-esque
the morning breaks the ice of dawn
nobody looks impressed

it's no surprise
that some of us would rather close our eyes

and you'll be sleeping on your own
if you don't get out at charing cross

no-one wants to look at me
i'm not invisible
each station fades a new crowd in
conversation minimal

its obvious
that most of us would rather not get up

but somehow everyone's the same
when you get out at charing cross

you won't make up the time you've lost
this train will stop at charing cross

you don't get back the love you lost
when your train stops at charing cross

you don't know who'll be hugging you
till you get off at charing cross

away from the world

this song is about hiding away from the world and feeling sad and lonely and the need to hide from people with your fears. i hope a lot of people can relate to this song, the chorus of which is simply "we cloak ourselves in black to hide away from the world" and that was inspired by a teacher/lecturer at bournemouth university during 2005.

written - gradual song, 2003 - 2007. main part written november 2005

collection - twenty five your havin a laff (track 12)

lyrics -

i've found some space
without any hurt
resting my head away from the world

i need some time
alone with my thoughts
working them out away from the world

we cloak ourselves
in black to hide away from the world

my little enclave away from the world

i've lost my friends
no reasons why
i guess i'll hide away from the world

i've hurt myself
too many times
but hurts don't hurt away from the world

we cloak ourselves
in black to hide away from the world

my little enclave away from the world

we cloak ourselves
in black to hide away from the world

my little enclave away from the world

moment of truth

written - 1998

lyrics -

yesterday can't be erased
now's the time to turn the page
cos it's just a dropped stitch
in life's tapestry

but this is my moment of truth
and i'm too scared to look
this is my moment of truth
it'll either send me up or down

tomorrow can't be delayed
now's the time to look away
cos it's just a locked door
on life's corridor

but this is my moment of truth
i don't have any excuse
this is my moment of truth
it'll either send me up or down

this is my moment of truth
and i'm too scared to look
this is my moment of truth
it'll either send me up or down
it'll either give me pride or pain

it's too late to read the book
and i don't know which way to look

it's too late to read the book
and i don't know which way to look

now's the time to turn the page
cos yesterday can't be erased

give the girl a bone

you could be forgiven for thinking this is a song about pornography. it kind of is, its that era of my life when i was out in pubs, clubs and bars chatting up the girls. the song was written in july 2004. its actually not really me this song, more of a stereotype from english people i have met and known over the years.

written - bournemouth bars, 1st july 2004

collection - room card only (track 2)

lyrics -

these days you find it easier to smile
because you'd found yourself
you'd been away a while

another bar another beer
the lady in the corner
doesn't want to drink alone
give the girl a bone

these days you know life moving slow
because you've lost yourself
you don't know where to go

another dream another lie
the apple of your eye
isn't worthy of the throne
don't give the girl a bone

sandwich child

back in 2004 i was working in the heathlands hotel in bournemouth's east cliff. i worked with a half persian half german lady called hamta. she was very distinctive. one night she described herself as a "sandwich child" cos she was the middle of her siblings. i loved the term and wrote the song within days, also honing in on the conversations we had including one where she was fed up with "this english life". after a few shifts i never saw her again...

written - 3/10/2004

about - hamta, the sandwich child

inspiration - hamta from heathlands hotel

lyrics -

in montreal you lost it all
strange numbers on your phone
your persian rug has had enough
the police follow you home

the world doesn't love you
you're just a sandwich child
you wouldn't drink champagne out of a tea cup

in london town the sun goes down
drink put me in prison
your northern heart a world apart
don't buy the drugs they sell

the world doesn't need you
you're just a sandwich child
you wouldn't have a chandelair in your council flat

in germany paid harmony
you're homeward bound at last
the english life of sleepless nights
the chemists help you last

the world doesn't want you
you're just a sandwich child
you wouldn't drive a limosine through north belfast

the truth

written - 1998

about - as it suggests, a form of truth and reality from life on this here planet so it is

lyrics -

the day grows old over your bones
the night digs deep into your sleep
and all you get is a salary a week

listen now if you've got a minute
keep reaching till you find your limit
if you fail it doesn't matter
cos you can only go up or down
on life's ladder

the time ticks past ever so fast
the world spins round out of design
and all you get is a memory to last

listen now if you've got a second
keep reaching until fortune beckons
if you fail it doesn't matter
cos you can only go up or down on life's ladder
on life's ladder

now you can have no excuse
cos i've just told you the truth

coming off the bug

the bug in this instance is alcohol, and my desire to come off it, and stop. its ironic now that i don't really drink. i haven't had an alcoholic drink in the UK since late February 2009. but before in my life, it was a different story. especially the day i wrote this. i had just turned 20. i didn't really have any problems or issues in life back then. it was simple. i worked to go out with my friends. i worked in tesco at springhill. on my 20th birthday i worked until 3 pm and then headed out drinking in bangor. i drank too much into the night. last thing i knew was a taxi home and pouring a pint over my mate Mike in the Windsor pub. times were bad. the next morning was the worst experience ever. i didn't have to be in work, but i woke up, now aged 20. i had left my life as a teenager behind forever. life wasn't actually that great. alcohol was a big part of my life. that morning being 20 for the first time, i went shopping with Mum, and 3 times had to leave the supermarket for the toilets to throw up, barf up, be sick. i realised right then i should give up alcohol, but i didn't, though i stopped for 2 weeks. now i'm not drinking at the moment and feel so much better. it cannot be that hard to "give up the bug."

written - march 2000

about - giving up alcohol, late nights, hangovers

lyrics -

like falling in love
coming off the bug was easy
all it took was a mind that wasn't ready

while losing the plot
i almost forgot my options
either come back, or admit that i'm not welcome

high in the world to low in the world
high in the world then low in the world
in less than 24 hours

i've had enough
coming off the bug believe me
flashbacks cold sweats unwanted memories

with victory in mind i'm leaving behind commitment
at least i'm still aware that i'm not with it

high in the world to low in the world
high in the world then low in the world
in less than 24 hours